My husband and I are young. Well we are not kids, but we are just at the opportune age where everyone is constantly asking us if we plan on having children. Keep in mind, we just got married and people don’t realize how often (almost daily) we are asked this. If I’m seen holding someone else’s child I get comments like “That looks so natural on you!” Like I need one for an accessory or something. It’s tough. The answer to the question is, I don’t know. If it were the 40’s or 50’s, absolutely yes. But the world today is tough and the thought of raising a child in it (especially without having a wealthy as all get out income) scares the bejeesus out of us! One minute, we are ogling over a cute kid. And the next, we hear a kid throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of a grocery store that needs spanked and we say “Nope! We are not having kids!” Sure at times I feel, my kid would never act up. But the truth is, you can’t pre determine how your child’s temperament will be when it’s born! It just happens and you have to mold them into the right type of person. That’s scary. The world sucks right now! There is too much corruption. But at the same time, it’s hard to say no to the idea. I always thought I’d have kids. Now, I just don’t know. After years of trying to decide yes or no… I still am in limbo on the issue. I may never be able to decide until it’s too late or it happens on accident (which is highly unlikely when on birth control). What’s a girl to do? What are we to do about this? We just.. don’t know.
Apparently if you are under 40 and haven’t had children, you get asked this a lot. Thanks for pointing out that I’m at a child bearing age people! We both know that the biological clock is ticking! There is a wealth of information out there that tells us this. We both had sex ed when we were younger and we both paid attention. We both want to make the right decision. But if we are not sure yet, I don’t think that we should be rushing into it.
I love kids. And it’s the absolute cutest thing ever watching him around children. He is great with them. We are both kids at heart. But we are also young enough with few enough ties to possibly be able to travel more. We want to see the world, go to concerts, be in concerts, and go on journeys! It’s hard enough to afford that and make time for it as it is. Let alone if we add a child.
But what if we wait until it’s too late? That’s the question.
We hate where we live and are only here because our family members rely on us so much. But is that fair? Would it be selfish to move away? If we have a child, we may never get to leave this place. We already feel stuck here as it is. If we have a kid, my family is the type that will guilt us to our death about leaving and taking their grandbabies etc away from them. That’s just how they are. They expect us to want to stay as our civic duty I guess.
I just want to have a baby, skip the whole awkward raising and growing up part, and then have grandchildren to tell stories of my travels to! Perhaps we should get a monkey (an adopted and rescued one, I’m not ok with trading endangered animals and taking them from their habitat) now so we don’t have to put it through college and then just adopt an 18 year old when we are elderly. Yep. we are lost on this issue and don’t know what to do.
So I’ll ask this again, are we in folly for waiting or are we doing the right thing?
Thanks for reading!